Before we can blame the society or our(any) nation for their ineffectiveness, corruption, indiscipline, and lack of care, the home should be considered first because your family background frequently contributes to the kind of person you are most likely to become.
Obviously, no one looks like the national flag or the map of your country but like someone in your family (immediate or ancestor). That’s because every man will give birth to its kind (Gen1:24). Looks are not the only attributes you acquire from your parents; traits, behavioral patterns, etc.
What traits can you say you got from your parents?
Like the saying, ‘charity begins at home’. Therefore the home should be put into consideration first before passing any judgment on the society.
Children are God’s heritage (Ps127:3) not just young people to fill the earth. The first commandment God gave to man in the garden is to be fruitful and multiply. Before the fall of Adam and Eve, man experienced God’s supernatural blessings (good health, wealth, food, etc) and manifested in God’s wisdom (naming all the animals without duplication and without sin). It was during this period that He commanded man to be fruitful not after the fall.
What I’m trying to say is this; God’s view of raising godly children (heritage) like those before the fall is what is expected of every parent because the blood of Yahushua has renewed us from all sin.
Before this can be done successfully, love for the child must be intact because where there is no love there will be strife, unhappiness, envy, and hatred. True love can only be expressed through the power of its originator-Yahweh.
(IJhn4:8NLT But anyone who does not love does not know Yahweh. For Yahweh is love.).
Thus, if we love Yahweh, we will be diligent and committed to raising godly heritage for Him. It’s our lack of commitment towards raising godly heritage that results in robbery, area boys/girls, prostitution, drug trafficking, corruption in our government and other vices. Let’s put a stop to this by doing the right thing- raising a godly heritage!
The relationship between parents and children must be characterized by love. The power behind the commandments is love-Matt22:37-40NLT Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’
This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”
THE BASIS OF ANY GOOD RELATIONSHIP IS LOVE because LOVE LEADS US TO SEEK THE WELLBEING OF OTHERS
1 Cor13:4-5. Love is not always pleasant, sometimes parents need “tough love” to prove to their children that they love them through discipline just like Yahweh does with His children. Prov311-12NLT My child, don’t reject the Lord ’s discipline and don’t be upset when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.
Also, read Heb12:11
Let’s consider what love leads parents to do and what it leads them not to do.
SIX PRACTICAL WAYS TO SHOW LOVE TO CHILDREN
• TRAIN DON’T TEACH!: Prov22:6 NLT
Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. TEACHING here means to give instructions on how certain things should be done without your participation (practical). While TRAINING is to give instructions on how certain things should be done with practical involvement (examples).
Parents ought to understand that children learn faster by what they see than what they hear! Telling them not to steal, tell lies or gossip, but you do it in front of them will only enable them do it more than you. Parents need to stop being a negative influence on God’s heritage. Christ hates hypocrisy and children don’t like it either especially when you discipline them for doing the exact same thing you do.
Yes, you are older but if you want to raise them right, practice what you teach.
Matt23:1-4 NLT Then Yahushua said to the crowds and to his disciples, “The teachers of religious law and the Pharisees are the official interpreters of the law of Moses. So practice and obey whatever they tell you, but don’t follow their example. For they don’t practice what they teach. They crush people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden.
• TIME: Heb10:25NLT And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.
Parents should learn to breach communication gaps between themselves and their children to avoid unpleasant surprises. Raising a child does not only involve feeding, paying school fees, clothing, shelter and the likes.
They need someone they can also share their feelings with. I understand you spend a lot of time making ends meet but don’t let communication between you and your child wane, it is dangerous especially now that there are a lot of bad influences out there. For example media and peer pressure. Don’t just tell your child not to watch a particular movie or play a game without telling them why they shouldn’t watch.
• DISCIPLINE: Heb12:11 NLT No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward, there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way. Prov3:11-12 obviously, any parent that denies his/her child discipline hates that child.
The reason is that the chance that the child will become useful in life is bleak. Yes, undisciplined children will lead to an undisciplined society. Discipline them with love not out of anger or bitterness. Don’t throw objects at them or subject them to tough punishments like in the old laws of Moses.
• LOVE YOUR SPOUSE: 1Pet3:1-2,7NLT In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. 7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
The first place where your kids learn how to love another person is by watching you! So, do your children see affection or disrespect for your spouse? Don’t forget children learn faster from what they see than what they hear that’s why instructional materials are used in schools to facilitate effective teaching and learning. Love your spouse dearly, don’t raise a bitter child.
• DISCUSS REALITIES OF LIFE WITH THEM: Jh8:32 And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”Show them how the world works. Stop shying away from issues of life because if you don’t explain it to them, they are more likely to get the wrong information outside. Realities like Sex Education, puberty, homosexuality, etc. Don’t imagine they know it, play your role!
• WATCH YOUR WORDS: Col 3:21 NLT Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged. Eph6:4 NLT Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. Not only fathers, but mothers should also do the same.
Words can be encouraging or discouraging. Pro18:20 NLT Wise words satisfy like a good meal; the right words bring satisfaction. Some people believe they are a failure (mediocre) due to what their parents told them.
A single world can last a life-time. Tell them you are proud of them and encourage them where they need encouragement. Also, set your expectation within reach of the child’s ability (future Profession). Stop comparing your child with another person’s child(ren), most children don’t like it. It builds envy and bitterness in them. Instead of using wrong words, encourage and praise them. Learn to say thank you and sorry when necessary, it makes them feel loved.
❖ HONOR/OBEY your parents: Eph6:1
❖ ACCEPT DISCIPLINE-Heb12-11, Prov5:12
❖ SAY THANK YOU.
❖ LOVE YOURSELF-Prov9:12, Matt19:19 You will personally face the consequence of whatever path you choose to follow. Shun wrong association-1Cor15:33
❖ GIVE THEM A HUG every now and then-2Cor9-7.
❖ SHARE RESPONSIBILITY/ do your chores-1Thes3:10.
❖ LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY!-Jhn13:34
God will not do what He can do until you do what you can do. Raising godly heritage/future leaders is very possible. Thus play your role well, so God will reward you. May your lack of commitment to your children not lead you to hell!
Don’t be like Jesse who never showed love to David because of the circumstances surrounding his birth. Joseph loved Christ and raised Him right though all he had was an angelic visit. Lois and Eunice helped Timothy fulfill His ministry (2Tim1:5). What about you!