Vows/oaths or swearing-in are done daily at organizations, political appointments, courtrooms, schools and during marriage ceremonies. But are people committed to the vows made? Our lack of integrity and love has made us unfaithful, unloving and underdeveloped while under vows which we show no respect for.
Shamefully, marriages are not left out. Vows, swearing, and oaths have not curbed infidelity in marriage instead it is inflating daily. Yet, they call wedding vows “sacred”, yet it is one of the most violated vows.
Isn’t it obvious that something is wrong that’s why vows/oaths/swearing is not helping us in any way? Is taking marital vow important? If it is, why are marriages crashing?
Let’s discuss to identify the error in marital vows to help solve the problem.
WHAT ARE MARRIAGE VOWS?
According to Wikipedia, “Marriage vows” are promises each partner in a couple makes to the other in a marriage ceremony based upon Western Christian norms. They are not universal to marriage and not necessary in most Christian legal jurisdictions as Eastern Christians do not have marriage vows in their traditional wedding ceremonies.
Now, we are not discussing Eastern traditions, we are going to proper Christianity according to the will of Yahweh.
ORIGIN OF MARRIAGE VOW AND SWEARING IN MARRIAGE
Between 17BC-479AD, in the Roman Empire lower classes had free marriages. The bride’s father will simply deliver her to the groom and the two agreed that they are wed and would keep the vow of marriage by mutual consent. Wealthy Roman though signed a document listing property rights to publicly declare that the union was legalized and not a common-law marriage.
This was the beginning of the official recording of marriage. It wasn’t of Yahweh, it was born out of the wealthy ones; those who had money. Let remember how evil money is by taking a look at Christ. Out of all the twelve disciples, the one who betrayed Him was the one who held the bag of money.
So the marriage contract was brought in because those who had wealth wanted to guard their wealth as the case may be. So I can easily say, it was introduced by the devil because of their love for money and the vows involved.
Matt5:33-37 NLT “You have also heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not break your vows; you must carry out the vows you make to the Lord .’ But I say, do not make any vows! Do not say, ‘By heaven!’ because heaven is God’s throne. And do not say, ‘By the earth!’ because the earth is his footstool. And do not say, ‘By Jerusalem!’ for Jerusalem is the city of the great King. Do not even say, ‘By my head!’ for you can’t turn one hair white or black. Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one.
According to the Roman Catholics, this was the pledge “I (John) take you (Joy) to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and bad times, in sickness and in health, I will love you and honor you all of my days”. This is a vow and its not from Yahweh. You don’t need to make a promise (vow) because the moment you enter a promise (vow), you have entered a contract and the contract is of the devil. We stamp worldly contracts every day; like those signed with organizations. But if you want to get married according to the will of Yahweh be careful not to tire it up with a human contract because it’s of the devil.
The Anglicans are also similar, “I (John) take (Joy) to be my wedded wife. To have and to hold from this day forward. For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part. This, on the other hand, is actually swearing which is worse compared to the Catholic version. As read in Matt5:33-37, you are not permitted to make a vow using anything on the earth or above.
HOW MARRIAGES SHOULD BE CONDUCTED
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So the Lord God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still, there was no helper just right for him. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep.
While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.
As stated clearly in the scriptures, Adam did not swear with anything neither before anyone, not even Yahweh. Neither did he make any promises or signed any contract or undertaking, he simply said “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man”. That was how man and woman became husband and wife before Yahweh, not before any human.
WHO JOINED YOU WITH YOUR SPOUSE?
Let’s study Mk10:2-9 NLT
Some Pharisees came and tried to trap him with this question: “Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife?” Jesus answered them with a question: “What did Moses say in the law about divorce?” “Well, he permitted it,” they replied. “He said a man can give his wife a written notice of divorce and send her away.” But Jesus responded, “He wrote this commandment only as a concession to your hard hearts.
But ‘God made them male and female’ from the beginning of creation. ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”
If you are married this question is for you; who joined you with your spouse? Is it a contract or Yahweh? If it is a contract that joined you together then Yahweh has no hand in it but from the devil. That is why many marriages are failing today because you weren’t joined by Yahweh but by a contract: like a business deal. Christ clearly stated that “What Yahweh has joined together” and “do not make a vow”, but you made a vow. Christ said anything more than “yes and no is from the devil”.
But you signed a contract and swore, this is not the will of Yahweh.
Also, let’s read Eph5:21-31 NLT
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church.
As the church submits to Christ, so your wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies.
For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body. As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one.
From the above scripture, it is expected of the man to marry his wife the way Christ married the church. Christ signed no contract neither did He swear to the church; His wife. We have taken the essence of the spirituality of the Christian marriage/union and have “carnalized” it.
Thus, it became a mess as seen in many marriages today. The first marriage written in the scriptures was done in a godly way. Adam and Eve made no vow neither did they swear or sign any contract. Christ married the church in spirit because marriage is spiritual, but you have made it carnal. Christ can never divorce Himself from the church, but how many of you are married according to the will of Yahweh? We are the church(Spiritual). Christ is the husband of the church (spiritual). He’s also the chief cornerstone of the church and we are the living stones of the church; all spiritual temple. Christ didn’t need a contract with the church.
Also, you don’t need a contract to marry before Yahweh. Take a look at our society today, after signing of a contract, swearing and all the vows, men and women go ahead and cheat on their spouse. Where is the potency of the contract and vows? It’s neither respected nor does it make some couples faithful to their spouse.
Unfortunately, men and women password their phones or delete messages so their spouses won’t know what they do. But marriage according to the will of Yahweh make you one with your spouse thus you shouldn’t hide anything from each other because fearing Yahweh will guard your hearts.
WHAT IF I’M ALREADY MARRIED THE WRONG WAY?
What you need to do is to take your wife or husband, without your parents or anyone else present except Yahweh because it is spiritual. Hold him/her then tell her/him before Yahweh, “I’m your husband and you are my wife” this must be mutual to be accepted before Yahweh. No swearing, vows nor the signing of the contract. After doing this, you are married according to the will of Yahweh. For the singles, take note. As Christians, we need to learn to say “I do” and mean it, so we won’t need contracts. As true believers in Christ, let’s be loyal and truthful. Don’t be a hypocrite.
Be faithful to your spouse in their presence or absence. Christ said no vows because He wants us to be truthful at all times in everything. Let’s show love through honesty and integrity, it will make the world a better place for us all.
Edited from the “Marriage Vows” by Daddy Freeze