In life, everyone has what they value. These values set our priorities. These values are often fuelled by either the society, family, religion, neighborhood, friends, education, workplace and so on. So at the end of the day, we choose and decide the source of our values consciously or unconsciously.
Unfortunately, none of the worldly values are rooted in the scriptures (Mk7:13) because they have become traditions of man. Subconsciously, some of us have wavered away from the will of Yahweh to the dictatorship of the world hence we miss out on Yahweh’s plans for our lives which results in ungodliness and wickedness circulating our world today.
Most of the problems we have in Christianity today is as a result of wrong value systems which has made us not to set our priorities right according to the will of Yahweh.
Examples of such values are marriage, money, religion just to mention a few. Today, I will be discussing marriage.
The Concept Of Marriage
One of our common value system which has misdirected our priorities in life is Marriage!
A lot of people value marriage above anything else that they don’t see themselves as successful or happy until they are married.
Is marriage that important in life? Is marriage for every person?
Should marriage be a do or die affair?
If it is, then why is marriage not providing the right result according to Yahweh’s intentions for couples?
Yahweh’s Intention For Marriage
According to the first marriage recorded in the scriptures that occurred in the Garden of Eden, let’s view how Yahweh planned marriage to be.
This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame. Gen2:24-25 NLT
From the scriptures above, Yahweh’s intentions are clearly stated. Yahushua repeated it in Matt 19:4-5 NLT
“Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Yahusua replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’ ”
And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’
As read above, marriage should be between male and female. The intending couple must be in agreement with a sincere heart and must be ready to become one in spirit, soul, and body- bonded in love.
Adam wasn’t forced to marry Eve neither was Eve pressured to marry Adam- it was done willingly, no ulterior motive.
Anyone who wants to get married should be rooted in these. In marriage, both couples are to make efforts to make it successful by playing their roles right. Each of them is expected to leave all others and be faithful to each other any day, anywhere, anytime.
Secrets must be avoided because the first couples were both naked, they became one flesh; they had nothing to hide from each other.
But today, the reverse is the case, couples are hiding their account details, password to their phones, delete chats and messages. Some are living like neighbors in the same house. Others cling to more than one person of the opposite sex like its normal. All of these are wrong. That’s not how Yahweh intended marriage to be.
Marriage Is Not An Escape Route
Marriage shouldn’t be seen or used as an escape route from any form of ungodliness or loneliness, depression, and pressure for marriage.
A survey was conducted by a famous person some time ago on couples to know why they got married to their spouse; the result was alarming. 80 percent testified that they got married as an escape route while the remaining 20 percent married out of love according to the will of Yahweh.
No wonder, marriage today is not producing the right result because it is abused. As a popular saying, “If the purpose of a thing is not well defined, abuse is inevitable”.
If you are planning or desperate to get married as an escape route be ready to face the consequences in the marriage. Some men and women married their spouse just to cover-up a breakup or prove to their ex that they can move on without them. Unfortunately, they find themselves going back to that same ex for sexual satisfaction and comfort in marriage. So who is the loser?
Those who want to get married as a remedy for their loneliness and depression will get disappointed in marriage because such an issue is best solved by your conscious effort. Sexual immorality? Its best controlled before marriage not during because you may feel relaxed doing it more in marriage due to your lack of self-control.
Whatever you are battling with is best treated before marriage, not during marriage; work on yourself first. Don’t let anyone push you into marriage, get married for the right reason. Those who got married for the right reasons face challenges in their relationship talkless of those who got married for the wrong reason.
The only difference is that they handle it better than those who didn’t get it right at all. Some cases of domestic violence are rooted in forced marriage or infidelity.
Marriage is best enjoyed when it is done according to Yahweh’s plan not out of desperation or ignorance. Our society today has made us feel you must be married to be fulfilled in life.
A lot of women who are above 30 years feel they are under a curse, that’s why they are still single. Even ladies in their early twenties are already getting desperate. No wonder some men treat them like marrying them is doing them a favor because he saw the desperation in them before and after marriage.
Please understand this, marriage is not by force neither is it a must else people like Apostle Paul, John the Baptist, Yahushua, Mary, and Martha would have been married.
Mary and Martha were very close to Yahushua but never prayed to Him for marriage. If marriage is so important Christ won’t miss that out, He would have blessed them with it. Stop looking older than your age because you are still single.
There is no devil anywhere against you, instead work of your character. Have fun, take yourself out on a date, pursue that dream, put a smile on your face all the time, and always remember Yahweh loves you.
He knows your need even before you ask for Him
Don’t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him.
Stop going to different prayer houses looking for what is not missing.
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Yahushua.
Be relaxed, trust Him and His peace will fill your soul.
Reevaluate Your Values
Why did you marry your spouse? Is that purpose achieved?
Check your values so you can set your priorities right. We all know what is good and what is bad.
Get rid of every act of ungodliness and embrace purity. Don’t wait for the other person before you start making amends, play your role, and let Yahweh finish the rest. No matter how old your marriage is, you can still make things right.
All you have to do is to restructure your values according to the will of Yahweh so you can set your priorities right for a fruitful and successful life. But, if it involves violence and persistent vices, please leave. Marriage is not by force, don’t kill yourself, please. Your life, joy, and peace are valuable.
You are blessed!